20 golden rules for your success

1. Rule 1. - The Boss is always right.
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2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1 .

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3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.

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4. Ph.D. Stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.

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5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

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6. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

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7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.

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8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

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9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

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10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

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11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

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12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

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13. Following the rules will not get the job done.

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14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

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15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous".

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16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

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17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.

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18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.

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19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.

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20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for
everything that goes wrong
 
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