one liners

Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge. Take everything in moderation. Including moderation. The best contraceptive for old people is nudity. Do ten millipedes equal one centipede? I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. I bet you, I could stop...

A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about...