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What is the biggest ant in the world? An elephant!

On a dark and stormy night, an American, Canadian and a Jew were in a horrible car accident. All three were rushed to the hospital, though all three had died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he awoke and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors...

Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th? A: I only have eyes for ewe!

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: I'm stuck on you!

Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch? A: You turn me on.

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house." ~Groucho Marx

"I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste." ~David Bissonnette

"The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead." ~Ann Landers

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Janice, who created the universe?" When Janice didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her...

February 14th is right around the corner, which means it's time for a few misguided Valentine's Day Jokes to poke fun at the day Cupid makes his rounds poking people in the butt with painful arrows and such. Rather than bore you with a bunch of babbling, we'll get right to thefunny jokes.

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