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Business one-liners 28 People who complain about the way the ball bounces usually dropped it. People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of them being made. People who think they know everything upset those of us who do. People will accept your idea much more...

Business one-liners 27 Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment. Other people's tools work only in other people's gardens. Others will look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails. Our present business is not to exchange compliments but arguments. - Robert Boyle...

Business one-liners 26 Everything is always done for the wrong reasons. Everything put together sooner or later falls apart. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler. Everything takes longer than you think. Everything tastes more or less like chicken. Everything...

Business one-liners 25 Everybody should believe in something, I believe I'll have another beer. Everybody's gotta be someplace. Everyone breaks more than the seven-year-bad-luck allotment to cover rotten luck throughout an entire lifetime. Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not...

Business one-liners 24 Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average. Enough research will tend to support your theory. Entropy has us outnumbered. Error is often more earnest than truth. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Even if the grass is greener on the...

Business one-liners 23 Don't stop to stomp on ants when the elephants are stampeding. Don't try to have the last word; you might get it. Don't worry about the sand in the Vaseline, they don't use it anyway. Due to recent budget cuts and downsizing, the light at the end of the tunnel has been...

Business one-liners 22 Don't bite the hand that has your paycheck in it. Don't blame me; nobody asked my opinion. Don't do today that which can be put off till tomorrow. Don't force it, get a bigger hammer. Don't get lost in the shuffle, shuffle along with the lost. Don't lend people...

Business one-liners 21 Democracy is that form of government where everybody gets what the majority deserves. Diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to "get lost" in such a way that they look forward to the trip. Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way. Diplomacy is the...

Business one-liners 20 Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. Cop-out number 1. You should have seen it when I got it. Create a need and fill it. Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster. Creativity is no substitute for knowing what you're doing. Creditors have better memories...

Business one-liners 19 Common sense is not so common. Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough. - Descartes, 1637 Communication with the dead is only a little more difficult than communication with (Insert Your Favorite Group -...

Business one-liners 17 Beware the fury of a patient man. - John Dryden Beware the man of one book. - St. Thomas Aquinas Beware the wrath of a patient person. Blessed are those who go around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels. Blessed is he who expects no gratitude, for he shall...

Business one-liners 16 Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes clear to the bone. Before you give a colleague a piece of your mind, be sure you can spare it. Being a good communicator means people find out what is really wrong with you. Believing is seeing. Better latent than never. Beware of a...

Business one-liners 15 As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse. As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens. Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes. Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups. At any level of traffic, any delay is intolerable. Automatic simply...

Business one-liners 14 Anything is possible, but nothing is easy. Anything labeled "New" and/or "Improved" isn't. The label means the price went up. The label "All New", "Completely New", or "Great New" means the price went way up. Anything that doesn't eat you today is saving you for...

Business one-liners 13 Any wire cut to length will be too short. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. Anyone can admit they were wrong; the true test is admitting it to someone else. Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked. Anyone who makes an absolute statement...

Business one-liners 12 Any minimum criteria set will be the maximum value used. Any producing entity is the last to use its own product. Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way. Any smoothly functioning technology is indistinguishable from a "rigged" demo. Any sufficiently...

Business one-liners 11 Any change looks terrible at first. Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of the most harm. Any given program will expand to fill all available memory. Any given program, when running, is obsolete. Any good strategy will seem ridiculous by the time it...

Business one-liners 10 Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy. An executive will always return to work from lunch early if no one takes him. An error in the premise will appear in the conclusion. An object at rest will always be in the wrong place. An object in...

Business one-liners 09 All warranties expire upon payment of invoice. All work and no play, will make you a manager. Almost everything in life is easier to get into than to get out of. Always hire a rich attorney. Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out. Always listen...

Business one-liners 08 All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy. All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way. All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. - Walt Disney All probabilities are really 50%. Either a thing will...