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Business one-liners 68 If the slightest probability for an unpleasant event to happen exists, the event will take place, preferably during a demonstration. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. If there...

Business one-liners 67 If opportunity came disguised as temptation, one knock would be enough. If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less. If reproducibility might be a problem, conduct the test only once. If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been...

Business one-liners 66 If it looks too good to be true, it is too good to be true. If it says "one size fits all," it doesn't fit anyone. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done. If it works, don't fix it! If idiots could fly, this world would be an airport. If more...

Business one-liners 65 If ignorance is bliss, most of us must be orgasmic. If it can be borrowed and it can be broken, you will borrow it and you will break it. If it doesn't make sense, it's either economics or psychology. If it doesn't work, expand it. If it happens, it must be possible...

Business one-liners 64 If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. If enough data is collected, anything can be proven by statistical methods. If everything is coming your way, you are probably in the...

Business one-liners 63 If at first you don't succeed, give up. No use being a stupid fool. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not your sport. If at first you don't succeed, transform your dataset. If at first you don't succeed, try...

Business one-liners 62 If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points. If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment. If an item is advertised as "under $50", you can bet it's not $19.95. If anything...

Business one-liners 61 I knocked several times, but you weren't in. - Opportunity I once worked as a salesman and was very independent; I took orders from no one. I think we should really add to the confusion... Let's call in (Insert Your Favorite Group - Engineering/Financial...) I...

Business one-liners 60 He who shouts the loudest has the floor. He who walks in another's tracks leaves no footprints. Hindsight is an exact science. History is the science of what never happens twice. History repeats itself. That is one of the things wrong with history. I disapprove of...

Business one-liners 59 Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Has anyone ever heard of a self-made failure? Have you flogged your crew today? He who beats his sword into a plowshare usually ends up plowing for those who...

Business one-liners 58 Given a bad start, trouble will increase at an exponential rate. Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever. Go where the money is. Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes...

Business one-liners 57 For every problem, there is a neat, plain solution...and it is always wrong. For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision. Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places. Free advice costs nothing until you act upon it. Free time...

Business one-liners 56 Familiarity breeds attempt. Familiarity breeds children. Far-away talent always seems better than home-developed talent. Fill what is empty; empty what is full; scratch where it itches. For every "10" there are 10 "1's". For every action, there is a corresponding...

Business one-liners 55 Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget. Excuses are like bodies; everybody has one! Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined. Experience is something you do not get until just after you need it. Experience is what causes a person...

Business one-liners 54 Bureau Termination, Law of: When a government bureau is scheduled to be phased out, the number of employees in that bureau will double within 12 months after the decision is made. Brooke's Law: Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some fool discovers something...

Business one-liners 53 Boucher's Observation: He who blows his own horn always plays the music several octaves higher than originally written. Bove's Theorem: The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches. Boyle's Laws: (1) The success of any...

Business one-liners 52 Berra's Law: You can observe a lot just by watching. - Yogi Berra Bierman's Laws of Contracts: (1) In any given document, you can't cover all the "what if's". (2) Lawyers stay in business resolving all the unresolved "what if's". (3) Every resolved "what if" creates two...

Business one-liners 51 Anthony's Law of Force: Don't force it, get a larger hammer. Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner or the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes...

Business one-liners 50 Approval Seeker's Law: Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least. - Washington writer Rozanne Weissman The Aquinas Axiom: What the gods get away with, the cows don't. Army Axiom: Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood. Arnold's Laws...

Business one-liners 49 Acheson's Rule Of The Bureaucracy: A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson Action's Law: Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. Adler's Distinction: Language is all that separates us from the lower...