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if i m so Smart then..... who do i work here

i give 100% at work monday 18% tuesday 23% wednesday 25% thursday 22% friday 12%

todays to do list 1. read email play solitair surf the web read email attend meeting do chatting surf the web go home eat sleep

Why Women are the Luckier Sex! 1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses. 3. We never ejaculate prematurely. 4. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we blow up our...

Bhai's matrimony AD Salam, Apun Pakia!!! Umar 30 saal, wajan 80 killo aur 6 phoot height kya! Abhi woh bole to kya hai na ki apun ko bhi life me settle hone ka maangta, isi liye yeah advertisement apun paper me chaap re la hai... Maanta hai apun Tapori hai bahut log ka pungi bajayela...

This stuff is really funny....Enjoy On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded: Two Italian men; one Italian woman Two French men; one French woman Two German men; one German woman Two Greek men; one Greek woman Two English...

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the...

Don't imagine you can change a man unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon -- they should be able to put them all up there. 4. Never let your man's mind wander -- it's too little to be out alone...

THE FIVE SECRETS OF A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP 1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to...

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia, or heat stroke, has set in. AAA is not an option. I will win because if the wire doesn't work a brick will. _____________________________________________________ Because I'm a man, when the...

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions. " The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, " We should be the...

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, that the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was...

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found...

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the...

Corporate Lingo COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you. CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings...

Hi, Here you will find the top 45 oxymorons. An oxymoron is a combination of two words that are completely opposite in meaning. You've probably heard many of these before but didn't realize that they fall within this category. Read to the end. 45. Act naturally...

Please be advised that there are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm. Transportation: ｷ It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary. ｷ If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well...

There was a couple married for quite some time and they had a boy some 5-6 years old. The relationship b/w the couple was turning sour. So finally it reached such a stage that they thought it was better for them to be divorced than carry on such a relationship. So they consulted a lawyer...

MURPHY'S COMBAT LAWS 1. You are not a superman. 2. If it痴 stupid but works, it isn稚 stupid. 3. Don稚 look conspicuous-it draws fire. 4. When in doubt, empty your magazine. 5. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are. 6. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder...

What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy. 2. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. 3. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell. 4. Why do men like...