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A DROP IN SALARY PERHAPS A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going and she replied "I'm going to Las Vegas." He questioned her as to why she was going and she told him "I just found out that I can make...

NEW SECRETARY Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!" Two days later. George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your...

AT THE JOB INTERVIEW One day a man tried to get a job at a great company. He passed every test with flying colours. At the final interview part, the CEO told him that his constant blinking would bother customers. "I can fix that with some Aspirin. Just take some and I'll be better in a second"...

ONE DAY WHILE SCAFFOLDING Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding one day when suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realize that one of them is going to have to tell Steve's wife. Bob says he's good...

THE PERFECT SCAM Australian Police have been unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam: A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem reasonable, people place orders and make payments...

STOPPING BY THE OFFICE ONE DAY Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. She found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, shortage or no shortage, I cannot continue to operate this...

THE YOUNG BUSINESSMAN A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a...

Boat Race The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged...

The Top 10 Signs the Scientists at NASA Have Gone Nuts As presented on the 08/08/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN 10. In their latest Mars report, the word "Klingon" appears 97 times 9. They claim the alien fossils "taste a lot like chicken" 8. They've been looking for signs of...

The Dangers Of Dihydrogen Monoxide This is a true happening: A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide."...

Scientific Experimentation With Lawyers The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged, and filed suit, but the NIH presented some very good...

Political Periodic Table In a recent contest, The Washington Post asked readers to dream up new elements for the Periodic Table. Among the best of the batch: Limbaughium Lb The heaviest known element. It possesses an ever-expanding mass. Very white. Acidic. Emits heat but no light...

Lawyer Brains A lawyer finds out he has an inoperable brain tumor. It's so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains. There's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of...

Lab Rabbits On The Loose Three rabbits escape from a laboratory, the first morning they come across a field of carrots, they burrow under the fence and eat themselves into a stupor for the whole day, the following day they see a field full of female rabbits with no males in site, so they jump...

Having A Second Child The couple left the gynecologist's office with the wife in tears. They had just been told that she could never again become pregnant. They would never have the opportunity to extend their family, as they both desired so fervently, beyond their only child. Suddenly, a...

Children Defining Science The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the "most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they...

Cartoon Laws Of Physics Cartoon Law I Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar...

A Shocking Story At a company during the winter months the static buildup due to the dry air from the heating system was becoming quite a problem. People and equipment were getting zapped constantly. The receptionist was particularly hard hit as people were handing her stuff all day. An...

How to Translate Classified Advertising These days, prospective employees can read between the lines of your industrial-aged classified advertising copy. Maybe it’s time you changed your ads. Just have an eye for detail." We have no quality control. "Competitive salary." We stay competitive...

How Much Money Is Too Much? Last year(1999), basketball superstar Michael Jordan made $300,000 a game, or roughly $10,000 a minute. What does that mean? Last year, basketball superstar Michael Jordan made $300,000 a game, or roughly $10,000 a minute. Assuming he made roughly $40 million in...