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I just wrote a book, but don't go out and buy it yet, because I don't think it's finished yet.

This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace a hardcover book -- it makes a very poor doorstop.

Never lend books, for no one ever returns them. The only books I have in my library are books that other folks have leant me.

No experiment is reproducible.......................................

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

After painstaking and careful analysis of a sample, you are always told that it is the wrong sample and doesn't apply to the problem.

When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that: (1) the two cars are going in opposite directions, and (2) they will always meet at the bridge.

No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.

After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold-down screws, it will be discovered that the gasket has been omitted.

If, when completion of a design is imminent, field dimensions are finally supplied as they actually are, instead of as they were meant to be, it is always simpler to start over from scratch.

In simple cases, presenting one obvious right way versus one obvious wrong way, it is often wiser to choose the wrong way so as to expedite subsequent revision.

Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after and only after the design is complete. (Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law)

No matter what the experiment's result, there will always be someone eager to: (a) misinterpret it. (b) fake it. or (c) believe it supports his own pet theory.

When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

1) Numbers are tools, not rules. 2) Numbers are symbols for things; the number and the thing are not the same. 3) Skill in manipulating numbers is a talent, not evidence of divine guidance. 4) Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately...

1) The one piece that the plant forgot to ship is the one that supports 75% of the balance of the shipment. Corollary: Not only did the plant forget to ship it, 50% of the time they haven't even made it. 2) Truck deliveries that normally take one day will take five when you are waiting for the...

80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.

If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know. If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

The night before the English History mid-term, your biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.