MGMT. HUMOUR :SOMEHOW TRUE!!

DHSanj

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
The statement made by one as above :- They say if you don't eat you don't shit, and if you don't shit you die --- has a very deep meaning - it is nice
 

DHSanj

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
The statement made by one as above :- They say if you don't eat you don't shit, and if you don't shit you die --- has a very deep meaning - it is nice
 

Nanda_1980

New member
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally, after a forenight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
 

VJ_vin

New member
UNIVERSAL LAWS


. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
 

VJ_vin

New member
UNIVERSAL LAWS


. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
 

AKDAS

New member
GREAT JOKE TO KEEP YOUR MIND FRESH AND ENJOY THE HUMOUR. ALSO TO REJUVENATE YOUR MIND WHICH IS UNDER THE GREAT ACADEMIC PRESSURE.
 

frnd1sandy

New member
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS



Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy



____________ _________ _________



OFFICE ARITHMETIC




Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime



____________ _________ ________



SHOPPING MATH



A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.



____________ _________ ________




GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS



A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



____________ _________ ________



HAPPINESS



To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.



____________ _________ _________



LONGEVITY



Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.



____________ _________ _________



PROPENSITY TO CHANGE



A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.



____________ _________ ________




DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE



A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



____________ _________ ________



HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED



Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
 

Oindrila Dey

New member
Corporate Lesson number one :

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story is:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.......:bigsmile:

This is so true and a harsh reality. Hierarchy matters to the extent of cruelty. And that's something we as a society need to know. Power is power in whatever but nowadays this is used in a wrong way. A very wrong way. Isn't it!?
 

Himanshi Agarwal

Well-known member
HR: Just go to hell!
Me: So stay? or leave? I’m confused.
Boss to Me, “Yes. Doing your job is part of your job.”
I complain to HR, “Sorry Ma’am, but the salary doesn’t even remotely match the effort I put into my work.”
HR nods, “I know, but we can’t let you starve to death.”
Boss: Can you come to office on Sunday there’s some work to finish.
Me: Sure, however, I’ll be late at work as public transport on Sunday’s is really bad.
Boss: Sure. That should be fine. By when would you reach.
Me: “Monday!”
 

poornima lagadapati

Active member
Giving 100%
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to
produce over 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's
a little math that might prove helpful in the future. What makes life
100 percent?

If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z can be
represented
as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26

Then,

H A R D W O R K

8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98% only

K N O W L E D G E

11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96% only

But,

A T T I T U D E

1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100 %
However,
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

Therefore, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get
you
close; BUT attitude and bullshit will put you over the top.
:D
Wow ...this is hilarious. But maintaining attitude everywhere doesn't work. But we should not let people for granted
 
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