CoRpoRAte lESSonS!!

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roni2910

New member
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story is:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
 
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tomershraddha

New member
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic with girls." That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic with girls." That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic with girls." That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic with girls." That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic with girls." That's Brand Recognition:lmfaoo:
 
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nsudha185

New member
CORPORATE LESSON - 1

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle.

When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish.
When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become,and your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start first.He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted WINE".
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine.The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER".
He was so contented with His beer pool.

The last is the American.He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel.
He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."


MORAL OF THE STORY:> Mind your language, you never know what it will Land you in
 
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rajaramana

New member
roshcrazy said:
...CORPORATE LESSON - 1

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle.

When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish.
When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become,and your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start first.He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted WINE".
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine.The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER".
He was so contented with His beer pool.

The last is the American.He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel.
He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."


MORAL OF THE STORY:> Mind your language, you never know what it will Land you in.


CORPORATE LESSON - 2

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower & the doorbell rings.
After a few seconds of arguing over who should go and answer the doorbell,the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $ 800 just to drop that towel that you have
on". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and quietly leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune,the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $! 800 he owes me?"


MORAL OF THE STORY: Share critical credit information with your stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure! :SugarwareZ-191:
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haha nice one...... loved it.... awesome
 
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Nightcreature

New member
The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting.

It seems that in England, they had a men's club, Bachelors' Anonymous. It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage.

The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. They send over a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack.
 
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anshofgod

New member
roshcrazy said:
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic with girls." That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic with girls." That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic with girls." That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic with girls." That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic with girls." That's Brand Recognition. :bigsmile:
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Really Nice Joke man U are The Best Of All ,you made ppl laugh all day and night i salute to u .
 
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rahuljin

New member
tomershraddha said:
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic with girls." That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic with girls." That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic with girls." That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic with girls." That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic with girls." That's Brand Recognition:lmfaoo:
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hahahha.......that was really funny, keep up :SugarwareZ-156:
 
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bhavyaa

New member
joke

A man walks into a bar.

He says to the barman, "How tall is a penguin?"

The barman says about three feet.

The man says, "Don't you get any penguins taller than that!"

The barman says, "Maybe maximum four feet but no taller than that."

The man says, "Oh shit, in that case I just drove over a nun."
 
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Tulla

New member
A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."

The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"

"Just rub toilet paper between them."

Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"

"I don't know, but it worked for your ass."
 
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Hiral.s

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
A Sales representative, and administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and the genie comes out.

The genie says that he will be granting only one wish to each of them. Being very excited, the admin. clerk wishes first " I want to be in Miami, driving a speedboat,without a care in the world"..poof,,,he's gone...

Then the sales rep. takes the turn.."I want to be in Hawaii, realxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina coladas with love of ma life."" poof.. he is gone too....

Now came the turn of Manager.. He said.." I want those two back in the office after lunch"

Moral of the story...Always let your boss have the first say...:SugarwareZ-020:
 
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chin1981

New member
e-mail one
Attention: Human Resources

Joe Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Joe works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Joe never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Joe takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping
coffee breaks. Joe is an individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Joe can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Joe be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.
Regards,
Project Leader

e-mail two
Attention: Human Resources

Joe Smith was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd numbered lines [1, 3, 5, etc.] for my true assessment of his ability.
Regards,
Project Leader
 
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vicpri

New member
Hmmmmm..... i cant control my laugh...These are the best jokes i heard...i will send these jokes to my frns
 
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